the Green Lantern... 3d Bad

the Green Lantern... 3d Bad

-as if a big budget, overly flashy summer film didn't already make you suspect it sucks, you hear it's 3D! Filmed in 3D?* Hopefully, but that might mean they knew it sucked before filming it! This review also compares the failure of the Green Hornet(spoilers)

Review Opinion
By ninjinturdle - Jul 14, 2011 03:07 PM EST
Filed Under: Green Lantern
Source: ny-themoviespot.blogspot.com

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- Well, that's the thing about Hollywood blockblowers. They already have the money element, and yet they end up sucking most of the time anyway and GL is no exception. Like it's drowning ComicBookMovie predecessor, THE GREEN HORNET 3D, something went way wrong enough to spoil even the best ICEE experience.



- So now that time caught up with this cheap trickery of converting to 3d, they've found the answer: film a piece of garbage IN the format and it'll seem like the answer. "It was really FILMED in real 3D!" Whatever the REAL reason for GL's lame plot, writing, acting, characters, visual effects, character acting, airshow stunts, 3D, and even marketing, they went waaaay wrong.

- As for cast, lets start at Ryan Reynolds, who's career started in a crappy daytime sitcom, "2 Gays, A Girl&Your Pizza Face." Since then, he was cast as Hannibal King in Blade: Trinity, an action film. Used as comic relief, he also buffed up for the role and started landing more serious films like "The Amityville Horror" and "Smokin' Aces." While playing buff guys like he did in "Wolverine," where he played a great Deadpool/Wade Wilson before it went back to Hugh Jackman, he was still allowed to show his comic side because the characters were known for back talking.

- "Deadpool" is planned to be given back to Reynolds for a 2014 release, but before this they decided Ryan was ready to play another comic legend. This time ruining the character before a botched up Weapon X surgery poorly adapted from the comic, like in "Wolverine. "Green Lantern" was chosen as the next adaptation and Reynolds was respected enough as a Superhero movie actor to finally take on a DC role.

- The fun fails to begin even before some fake looking purple alien man thing called Abin Sur travels in a rocket ship to earth, crash landing and ruining his ROCKET SHIP THAT TRAVELED THROUGH THE VACUUM OF SPACE! The CGI looks like it was done in 1995 with the power going out every 5 minutes. Seeing it in rushed 3D likely added to the PS2 quality, but it was so terrible it couldn't be just that! The effects were rushed too! Then, after the 128-bit gameplay quality Abin Sur, there was worse to come, but not only in the FX.***

-------


suit's squeezing him crayola's ABIN SUR PURPLE© ---- HILARIOUSLY Wincing at the breath of Wanted's "SHITHEAD"

- A detail noticed early by most 20/200+ vision people was the GL's facial expression. It's too goofy to take the character seriously, like the director said, "make the 3 year old face," before every take. He wears a dumbfounded look like he's been asked to divide by pie throughout the movie and it just doesn't work. His Hannibal King in 'Blade: Trinity' and Deadpool in 'Wolverine' worked with his comedy history as both characters were smart asses, and he still played a serious version of them. While Green Lantern shares the strong man superhero identity, the character wasn't in need of a smart mouth comedian dummy or the overly buff look Reynolds carries. Now Guy Gardner, there's a decent thought. Heck, PERFECT!

- He did lean down for a more accurate physique for the role, but he would have done us all a favor going pot bellied, we'd know never to see that joke. Every time his face was given an extreme close up shot(which is creepily very often) it just looked like a moron unsure of why he was wearing that ridiculous eye mask. The dumb joke face seemed to find it's way into this movie along with other unnecessary character elements.


- The actor who's talents were most wasted is Mark Strong as Sinestro. Not because of an inability to play the role, just that it's a ruined movie and there's so much potential. Hiring big name(RR) and good(MS) actors just to fill seats instead of making good use of them seems as pathetic and cheap as subliminal advertising. Tricking people in by using big name talents is an unnecessary waste of everything it takes, produces and ruins.

- Along with the earthly villain Hector, the great evil power known to the intergalactic Green Lantern society is Parallax. For the movie, the character was altered in the same way Galactus was altered for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. The bad guy was again shown as an evil tornadoing dust cloud of anger that moves around the city like a physical embodiment of massive stink terrorizing people. It didn't work the first time against the 4 and it seemed just as lame against the Lantern.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h80XUKHg5vg&feature=player_detailpage

His little bit after the credits followed by some guy giving a fair review:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTBU_Vzx_rU&feature=player_detailpage

"piiiiiisssssssssss!!!"

- Another character that failed at everything but annoying was Hector Hammond, who's physically deformed by the alien powers. He's seems like a goofy mad scientist type in the movie, curious about the alien Abin Sur. He becomes an angrier and deformed from the extra terrestrial power and serves as a villain to the Green Lantern hero.

- Just as happened with GH sequels were rumored after it's poor reviews, GL 2(+3) were also rumored before it's release and are now up to the money guy's in suits.***** This isn't good.****** Even if THEY(the guys in suits who manage legitimacy in choices in the movie making process in Hollywood) assign a serious writer and director to make them into decent(possibly unofficial, but won't be) sequels, they'll still keep some crap. Let's face it, the idea that these sequels will be "fixed" in the way any fanboy dreams of is just an idea. You know they'll just keep everything the same. Hollywood was constructed from the beginning along the blueprints of Henry "the recession" Ford's assembly line) that make it a worth watching movie film. This is because it's about making money and not making a better version of the characters movie(with full title) in order to hype the team up film planned in a few years that the other characters films are also hinting at.

- Actually filming these sequels is usually discussed next, but who gives a (Scheiße?) They'll probably suck anyway! At least doing a better job, like Thor's 3d job which looked decent with the few 3d hair shots. Thor was converted well because it didn't use too much of the 3D, which is where GL went wrong. The idea of a GL movie being made after the existence of Avatar reaks of 3d, so why the hell did have to be converted?



- If a JLA film is in the works, that means the Superman film, a Wonderwoman film, Aqua Guy, and others movies'll be around and contributing if the studios try the MARVEL team up thing(which failed with Daredevil/Elektra, but because they were horrible films.) Though that seems to be ruined as the Batman is under Christopher Nolan's control and is to be about a young Bruce Wayne fighting alone while Superman looks like a one hero deal and the Wonderwoman TV series failed(in a way that didn't look good for a film.) So that nightmare's out of the question, besides, the GL sequels are GL.


- Marvel's AVENGERS film has had a good build up. Granted the bullcrap about losing Norton and Ironman 2 having a less than outstanding villain plus other actor changes. IM3 is scheduled for 2013 and promises not to just face him against another guy in a suit, but still, IM2 gave us Howard Stark for the 124min it took up. Meaning the same thing will be done. There's no reason for this to be undone. The orginal films made green, that's why it's said to be "greenlit." Not really, assume green means go, but the point being, GL2+ won't be "The Incredible HULK" type sequels(better.)



- If you're a "FANBOY" who respected GL comics and all that crap, you're probably pissed andstill hoping for the Incredible Hulk deal in a way that at least creates more GL movies that are better with a bigger DC universe, but the money working out just isn't there for the 7 main character's films to all bond. Just keep hoping for a She-Hulk movie I guess?



But like with other things that could've been better, I tried to become a fan...


then spray painted my ring the next day



*http://www.cinemablend.com/new/To-3D-Or-Not-To-3D-Buy-The-Right-Green-Lantern-Ticket-25252.html
**http://realorfake3d.com/
***http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PlayStation_2
****http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6716942/the-movie-star
*****http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/jun/27/green-lantern-2-greenlit
******http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/joshw24/news/?a=43542

review:http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/diniverse/news/?a=41005
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YuJaYu1
YuJaYu1 - 7/14/2011, 4:24 PM
Um...
xBlaze96x
xBlaze96x - 7/14/2011, 4:59 PM
What????
sonofsamadams
sonofsamadams - 7/14/2011, 6:07 PM
Wierd ass picture choices
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/14/2011, 7:36 PM
YuJaYu1: dumbfounded huh? RR said the same thing

xBlaze96x: What???? is right. What the piss ass green fart smell were they thinking?!

Coloso: perfect comment!

Justsomeawesomeguy: thanks for wording it like I would. Yes, the pics are wonderful. I thought they were all relevant, but they are all to their own extreme. I'll now go through them all with full explination because it's fun.
1. The whole green gang standing around. Purple face's poor looking CG and fake ass 3D, turkey boy(or girl) with it's red chin sack. Robert Pulsan's big swinging tits in the rear
2. THE GREEN HORNET as mentioned
3. GL's goon face
4. again while talking to shithead
5. Red face's gay Dracula fart
6. cross eyed antilope retard Hec letting a 5. out his ears
7. again ol' cross ass doing his shit above an accurate ad for MNT dewdy&gl
8. Next up, an easter egg you'll find :45 into his ring testing sequence
9. His true demeanor toward GL fans
10. 25min after finding the fruit loops ring
11. 24hours later customization
12. Sky turds say it all!
DetBullock
DetBullock - 7/15/2011, 3:53 AM
Donato DiDivardi: Figliolo, sai che dai veramente l'idea di qualcuno che il film non l'ha visto?
Perché i difetti del film non sono certo né gli effetti né Reynolds, anche se è comunque un film mediocre.

Son, do you know you sound like someone who didn't see the film?
This because its faults are neither Reynolds nor the effects, even if it's still a mediocre film.
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/15/2011, 4:30 AM
DetBullock: Dad, I don't sound like someone who didn't see this bird dropping because I did. No, I didn't see it to the end, but that's the point!
Mr. Reynolds was to blame for not seeing the script being a shitdog from outer space. I know, hard to tell and many actors would just sign a paper before a script was even handed at the chance to play say, Poison Ivy(true story) or the Green Hornet(opposite story) or the great Green Lantern.
I don't speak vietnemese by the way, it's a safe bet less than 1% of ComicBookMovidians do. Keeping your comments just the Eng. translation is safe because it'll probably read how Bullock talks anyway, Especially if he's from Det. City and no one speaks your language as I said.
Okay, so maybe Reynolds' not to blame, but I didn't really give him too much Scheiße anyway. The effects, YES mutha luva! Those are to blame. Just as the causing hurried job of a production is the reason. Just like something Detective would say too. Why don't you just try and tie in blaming the bat to keep in character, you dumb gum shoe!
DetBullock
DetBullock - 7/15/2011, 4:39 AM
First, with "son" (figliolo) I was just kidding, I often forget that the age is not displayed under the nickname here.

Second, it was Italian, not vietnamese and I said exactly the same things I said in English, seeing that italian name at the end of the article somewhat prompted me to use my mother tongue, it won't happen again.

Third, a script often is completely rewritten on set, perhaps what was given to Reynolds was better than what ended up on screen.

Fourth, did I say it was a good film? Did I?
ROMACK
ROMACK - 7/15/2011, 8:06 AM
Yeah I didn't like it either. I'm just not gonna loose my MIND over it,
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/15/2011, 11:48 AM
I never said Bullock said it was a good film, in fact you said, "IF it's still a mediocre film."

I never lost my mind, just pointed out it sucked balls through a urethra.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!
Mechagino
Mechagino - 7/15/2011, 6:04 PM
The film was fun.
stevepants
stevepants - 7/15/2011, 6:57 PM
knock knock...who's there...the most unoriginal article....the most unoriginal article who...the most unoriginal article on this website.

seriously, it's like you just copied paragraphs in whole from every other cry baby "review" of this movie and pasted them in a different order into a BRAND NEW REVIEW!!! Enough with the GL hate already......the CGI while having problems is clearly not "1995" quality.

The problem with reviews and with the entire way that GL has been reviewed is this....it has to either be THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT EVER...or your're a [frick]ing moron for liking it. Fanboys have polarized the shit out of how we must discuss CBMs now...thanks for nothing.
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/15/2011, 9:56 PM
Mechagino - The film was fun.

ninjinturdle: no. It was boring and painful.

stevepants - knock knock...who's there...the most unoriginal article....the most unoriginal article who...the most unoriginal article on this website.
seriously, it's like you just copied paragraphs in whole from every other cry baby "review" of this movie and pasted them in a different order into a BRAND NEW REVIEW!!! Enough with the GL hate already......the CGI while having problems is clearly not "1995" quality.

The problem with reviews and with the entire way that GL has been reviewed is this....it has to either be THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT EVER...or your're a [frick]ing moron for liking it. Fanboys have polarized the shit out of how we must discuss CBMs now...thanks for nothing.

ninjinturdle: thanks for the repetetive copying, I guess if it's not someone else's it's okay to write everything twice. My article was made of all MY observations after seeing GL. So you aren't happy with my stating dislikes similar to the dislikes of what other people found to be shitty in the movie. If it's like I copied paragraphs in whole and used this tactic to make an original sounding article, why would you need to describe our shared opinions as "cry baby?" You sound like the GL fan's who out of misguided loyalty support a suck ass movie that hurts what you mean to help(ComicBookMovies.)

shitpants - "Enough with the GL hate already......the CGI while having problems is clearly not "1995" quality."

ninjinturdle: WHAT? So your comment was just a copy of the oposing argument to a common opinion about the GL movie? You're saying I'm saying the same thing others have said and that it's a copy which is a bad thing, when all you've given is a shit ass excuse, plus your little addition, "...the CGI while having problems is clearly not "1995" quality." I love that one. Aside failing to point out any good about GL, it aims to disregard my entire statement by insisting that I meant that the FX were actually that of "1995" capabilities. So even if I was wrong and GL's FX were "clearly" better than 1995, they still sucked ass! So what does that gave to do with GL hate? They aren't directly related in a way that makes them necessary to exist, meaning GL really does suck asse's holes and includes shit ass(possibly 1995) FX.
Woman!
95
95 - 7/16/2011, 5:07 AM
Green Lantern felt like a TV sitcom.

EPIC FAIL.
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/16/2011, 9:07 AM
DESPERO for the win! That's the perfect description: "a sitcom." I haven't watched that shit in so long that I'm not as familiar with them and couldn't place the feeling the movie was giving off, but you nailed it!

as for shittypants: "The problem with reviews and with the entire way that GL has been reviewed is this: it has to be THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT EVER... or you're a moron for liking it. Fanboys have polarized how we must discuss CBMs now...thanks for nothing."

ninjinturdle: it has to be the worst because it truly IS terrible. You sound like a girl in middle school arguing with a boy that Titanic was the best movie ever. "Or you're a moron for liking it." I'm sure most of the WORST PIECE reviews explained that it both sucked and that you're a moron.

I don't regard myself as so much a fanboy, but maybe I am one of the great contributors to trashing this piece of trash movie. Of course FBs are going to do this with GL reviews, it sucked. It was 'EPIC,' because it was THAT bad. All of the, "okay, it did have bad FX and ..." are just shitty excuses. Why else would you see this movie, For the lightly toned comedic effect? No, great big hero with a ring that does magic using state of the 3D art FX. Story is also a big part since that's what the movies telling, so the extremely lamed out/up/into the trash story contribution to the movie is a dead giveaway that GL fanbros lost out on their film.

The way it was made is just not the way to make ComicBookMovies, so subtle. This was kind of the deal with the Punisher, but it went both ways. Many felt it was lame, others enjoyed it for it's qualities. The Punisher is not such a GRAND character, but a guy who lives in hte shadows. This is at least the Punisher they made. While GL is a guy who comes on a green cloud of magic, so it should be skillfully made and well presented. Somewhere along the creative process, it was raped! The gay spawn of a 1995 raping.

So back to the end of paragraph before last, GL was ruined, use your power(YES, a perfect metaphor for the ring) granted to you because of this sites existence to demand a better film. You and your boys email, paper mail(that'll really piss them off into action,) call, stop on the sidewalk ALL people involved in GL&GL2. Think about it man, if you use this site to make a real life GL corps who's first focus is to bring a worthwhile movie to life, you'd be HEROES! Plus you'd have a better movie. You have the necessary tools, so use them and even make this site better. A huge purpose that would give people like us(okay, I'm a fanboy) a much greater respect among the people who make decisions at the studios. I just don't care enough to do anything about GL, I just hought it sucked alot, but you DO. So do something with the huge percentage of CBM members and join them together to call RR to tell him, "DON'T [frick] US!"

If you try that, it would be a great movement. Best wishes.
xBlaze96x
xBlaze96x - 7/16/2011, 9:53 AM
Well I guess I am a Moron
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/16/2011, 12:01 PM
just stop leaving crummy links to stuff no one wants and you're okay here.
AC1
AC1 - 7/16/2011, 2:45 PM
um... how much weed did you smoke before you wrote this? You're insane :P
I don't think Ryan was actually that bad with what he was given. And I would say that you should have stayed for the whole film, but that'd just give you more to write about, it got worse as it progressed. I'm guessing you know about Sinestro putting on the yellow ring for no [frick]ing reason whatsoever, right? I mean seriously, he admits that yellow power is pointless in his penultimate scene, and then just says "Oh what the hey" and puts it on in the next scene (post credits)
Obviously they rewrote the script part way thru filming, Mark Strong wouldnt have signed for it otherwise. Hell, i dont even think Ryan would have if he knew it'd be that bad.
ninjinturdle
ninjinturdle - 7/16/2011, 7:49 PM
ACira: uhhhhm... how much weed you smoke befo' yous wrote dis? You's insane :P
I's don't think Ryan be act'lly dat bad wit what he be given. An I woulda say dat you shoulda have stayed fo duh whoe film, but dat'd jus give you mo tuh write bout, it got worse as it progressed. I'm guessin yuh know bout Sinestro puttin on duh yelluh rang fo no frolicking reas'n whatsoevuh, righ? I means ser, he admit dat yelluh powuh be pointless in his penltmte scene, an den jus say, "Oh what duh hey" an put it on'n duh nex scene (pos credih)
Obviously dey rewrote duh scrip par way tru filmin, Mar Stron would'nuh have signed fo it othuhwise. Hellz, I's don't even thin Ryan woulduh if he knew it be dat bad.

ninjinturdle: I made it through your comment though, that wasn't as much painful as it was confusing and a little hard to make sense of as it nearly opposes it's own opinion. Lets break it down:

"uhhhhm... how much weed you smoke befo' yous wrote dis?" -a weed reference out of no where, lets find out why.

"You's insane" :P -because of my opinion or the weed? Obviously the GL. And I'm insane because why:

"I's don't think Ryan be act'lly dat bad wit what he be given." -so you know the script sucked, but believe Ryan did alright for how horrible it was. Sounds like you were smokin down before writing this shit dog.

"An I woulda say dat you shoulda stayed fo duh whoe film, but dat'd jus give you mo tuh write bout, it got worse as it progressed." -why should I have stayed if it got worse? Would you rather I felt more pain of the awful movie because I wrote that it sucked? Probably not, the last bits I saw are all a jumbled mess in my memory because that was the filming style(jumbled mess.) My review got worse or the film, I'd personally say both because of the film getting worse(starting with bad.)

"I'm guessin yuh know bout Sinestro puttin on duh yelluh rang fo no frolicking reas'n whatsoevuh, righ? -I did see this online before seeing the movie a few days after it's first week in theaters.

"I means ser, he admit dat yelluh powuh be pointless in his penltmte scene, an den jus say, "Oh what duh hey" an put it on'n duh nex scene (pos credih.) -wait, are you pointing out how pointless it was too?

Obviously dey rewrote duh scrip par way tru filmin, Mar Stron would'nuh have signed fo it othuhwise. Hellz, I's don't even thin Ryan woulduh if he knew it be dat bad. -that's where so many fans&people go wrong when discussing actors who've been in films they enjoyed's approach to new projects. Mark Strong's been in plenty of shit films. *Ryan Reynolds, he's been in a whole lot of failures.


Mechagino - Nope, I found it to be fun. -good point, your finding it to be fun not only means that it was "fun" but that fun means 'not a piece of shit.'




*http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6716942/the-movie-star
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