EDITORIAL: Reasons Why The GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Trailer Was Terribly Cheesy and Terribly Terrible

EDITORIAL: Reasons Why The GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Trailer Was Terribly Cheesy and Terribly Terrible

Wow what a bad trailer Marvel released, you think they would release a great trailer for an amazing potential upcoming blockbuster but no all we got was just a mixed bag of meh and uh whats. Here is the reasons why I truly think this trailer was a real stinker, read on for more fans!

Editorial Opinion
By PsychoManiacJacky - Feb 19, 2014 07:02 PM EST



Now before you go about to attack me, this is my own thoughts and opinions truly. You got your thoughts and opinions like I do, and I have my own. Now push that to the side and set aside all your prejudices. Am not looking forward to Guardians of The Galaxy that much. Oh yeah look Marvel got a talking raccoon firing a gun on top of a tree on the big screen even before a Wonder Woman film is even made! Woohoo? Other than that there is still nothing much to celebrate about. Besides the anticipation of the trailer the wait is over! And the wait is a pile of disappointment and crap churned into a bucket of chum ice cream. Let me go over the problems that obviously were in place with this stinker of a trailer.
______________________________________




Obvious Indiana Jones Rip-Off


Oh yeah rip-off other movies to make your movie seem so great and timeless. Harrison Ford would spit on you. I wish that floating ball would have just made itself giant and crushed Chris Pratt.

______________________________________


Star-Lord Name Comedy Skit


"Who are you?", *then dramatic pause*...."Star-Lord". "Who?". "Star-Lord man, legendary outlaw, *other guy raises arms like dafuq* "Fogetit" - Cut To Marvel Logo. My only reaction to this....




It was absolutely not funny at all. And Chris Pratt still hasn't sold me on the idea he is really an actor. Is he an actor? I don't even know who this guy is and don't care.

______________________________________




A Universal Remote


Seriously what year does this crap take place in? If you wanted to make a universal remote look cool at least make it not look like it came straight out of the 80s. Even Adam Sandler had a better looking remote in Click.

______________________________________




Nova Corps Halloween Costumes


Oh wow Marvel, please tell me at which thrift stores did you buy those costumes! Did they come with those cool neon lights also? Must have cost a fortune. Even Quicksilver in X-Men DOFP looks 100 times more realistic than all of them.

______________________________________




Bautista Trying To Look Serious as Drax


Arghhh put on your serious face! Now look around menacingly but don't speak or else they would know your Bautista and you starred in that crappy direct to DVD Scorpion King sequel....

______________________________________




The Entire Guardians of The Galaxy Intro


If you really wanted to make it serious, next time don't have John C Reilly do a voice over on it. Otherwise, MARVEL'S NEXT LATEST PHASE 2 COMEDY WOOHOO! Oh yeah, and Reilly's voice is so annoying. Mute button please.

______________________________________




Glow in The Dark Bracelets


The next big thing from Guardians of The Galaxy next to the over use of neon lights, glow in the dark bracelets! Coming soon at a Guardians of The Galaxy toy retailer near you!

______________________________________




Star-Lord's Long Glorious Middle Finger


Oh yes this takes me way back in the good ole days when that was considered a thing. Is it still a thing? Oh Star-Lord you don't have to be sorry. You silly, silly not actor.

______________________________________




A F***ing Walkman....


First a Universal Remote now this!? On top of that it's played a song from the 70s! Isn't this supposed to be the future!? I could already hear Doc Brown echoing "Great Scott!" from miles away. Alright Marvel this joke isn't funny. If your going to make the future look this crappy at least have Stallone make a cameo as Judge Dredd.

______________________________________




Star-Lord Wants Those Headphones


"TAKE THOSE HEADPHONES OFF RIGHT NOW!". And also look at my fabulous glow in the dark bracelets coming soon at a Guardians of The Galaxy toy retailer near you!

______________________________________




Flying Star Wars Ship Rip-Off


First they want to rip off Indiana Jones now Star Wars? Come on Marvel!

______________________________________




Heisenberg Makes a Cameo


I would say it's a highlight of the trailer, but still, trailer is crap.

______________________________________




Oh Hai Mr.Mugatu!

______________________________________


Terrible Action Shots Galore Editing


JENGA-HUGA-HUGA! And so much terrible editing everywhere. It felt like a seizure good gosh! Who the heck did Marvel hire to edit this trailer Tommy Wiseau!?

______________________________________


Overall the trailer was terrible. It was a teaser trailer, although the only thing it teased was how big it would bomb. James Gunn, you have good intentions but why man? This must be the reason why Marvel isn't planning a sequel at all. It just looks so conventionally silly and unMarvel like. What do you think? I got no clue at all. Peace and thanks for reading, I am very distressed now. May need to take a long walk outside and think this over. But I doubt my own thoughts and opinions would change.

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DannRamm113
DannRamm113 - 2/19/2014, 8:18 PM
Agreed with everything, but Riley is not only a comedic actor, he does serious.although it seriously sucked having him narrate
SmokinIndo
SmokinIndo - 2/19/2014, 8:25 PM
I can't tell if this article is trying to be sarcastic.
Darkknight2149
Darkknight2149 - 2/19/2014, 8:55 PM
I found the trailer disappointing, but I'm still excited for the film. The trailer was nowhere near as bad as this guy makes it out to be, but still not very good. Of course, this is only a teaser. It's going to need more than this to get me "un-hyped." There's a lot we haven't seen like decent footage of Ronan, Collector, Thanos (who will be in the movie), Nova, ETC. One bad teaser isn't going to ruin my anticipation for the film. I will continue to be hyped unless we get "real" footage that shows otherwise, which I doubt will happen. This trailer only gave us a glimpse at the film.
Darkknight2149
Darkknight2149 - 2/19/2014, 8:58 PM
I do agree we need that Wonder Woman movie, though. Big WW fan.
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 2/19/2014, 9:32 PM
It's a Jacky article, guys...
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 2/19/2014, 9:35 PM
Seriously though, this movie COULD be a huge hit. It's got that weird quality of being way over-the-top and goofy, ridiculous amounts of comedy and dry humor, extremely weird characters...and it knows it. It embraces it. It's not taking itself too seriously, in fact it's almost like it's making fun of itself. And honestly, that's probably the best way to go about it, IMO.

Personally, I'm not really into movies like that, even though I'll definitely see this. I'll have to get over the whole tone of the film if I want to enjoy it. But the general audience will love it, mark my words.
HeisenbergSaysRelax
HeisenbergSaysRelax - 2/19/2014, 9:36 PM
"Harrison Ford would spit on you"
Volthoom
Volthoom - 2/19/2014, 9:53 PM
even if this is meant as sarcasm i agree.
Alphadog
Alphadog - 2/20/2014, 12:00 AM
I'm not even going to comment I'm just going to ask you, WHY THE [FRICK] DID YOU MAKE THIS ARTICLE? I'm serious, why did you feel like anyone would care about if you enjoyed or not the trailer? This article is a porely done review and not one that people would be interested in reading. This isn't an editorial, this is a review and it doesn't deserve the title that you gave it nor does it belong in this section. I'm not going to comment on what you actually wrote more than that this trailer was clearly supposed to introduce these characters and the next trailer will probably be much better and give you a bigger sense of what the movie will be.
Alphadog
Alphadog - 2/20/2014, 12:02 AM
Just move away from the computer for a while until you find something that matters for you to write. Right now you are just infesting the Editorial section.
Highflyer
Highflyer - 2/20/2014, 12:35 AM
Batista looked intimidating as Frick to me.
EXODUZ
EXODUZ - 2/20/2014, 2:54 AM
Peter Quill was taken from Earth as a kid in the 80's and hasn't been back since. It makes sense that he has a walkman, as that was the last bit of earth tech that he's taken with him, also the mix tape music being from that time period makes sense in that context. The idea is that Guardians isn't happening in "the future", but just on distant planets with different technology. If they did it in the future there would be no way they could come ever end up interacting with the Avengers in later films.

The tone of these films are supposed to be funny and not take themselves seriously, think hitchhikers guide meets doctor who meets firefly. If that's not your cup of tea, there are your captain americas and your Thors to fall back on. Personally I like it, and it's a break from every other space epic that seems to be full of serious people on spaceships giving orders to other people.

I'm glad they left out rocket's and groot's voices, even if they have completed them. I was afraid of having the film pay too much screen time to them and have the marketing based completely around them since they are the odd ones of the bunch. I'm glad they didn't and instead gave the screen time to Star Lord, seeing as he is supposed to be the central figure anyway. Gamora and Drax didn't say a word and I don't hear anyone complaining about that.
OcciferPing
OcciferPing - 2/20/2014, 2:58 AM
Good lord man this is some of the worst nitpicking I have seen so far on here. I would suggest watching the IGN Rewind Theater video about this trailer before you start hating on everything. They pretty much explain everything about his walkman and the character since you clearly know nothing about either of those. It's there for a good reason.

And secondly, I don't think they're going for a serious movie considering there is a talking raccoon and a talking tree.

There's opinions, and then there's just hating (which you're doing).
PewPewMcgee
PewPewMcgee - 2/20/2014, 3:22 AM
I agree with @StingyFox. This is pure hate. It's not even an opinion, just you hating on the movie.

And you can't get on the Walkman and the headphones. Those are integral to Star Lord's character. They're some of his last memories from Earth and they're extremely important to him and to who he is as a character. So don't hate.
Pasto
Pasto - 2/20/2014, 5:33 AM
Trailer was aight. Had some good things, had some bad. Solid trailer in the end though.
Pasto
Pasto - 2/20/2014, 5:37 AM
Man, people have been on here a damn long time and STILL don't know what a Jacky article is? Shameful. Crawl back under your beds with your thumbs planted firmly back up your arse's. Leave the comments to people who actually know whats going on.
Boyle360
Boyle360 - 2/20/2014, 6:34 AM
This has to be sarcastic. If not, your arguments are biased and ridiculous.
GinjaNinja
GinjaNinja - 2/20/2014, 6:48 AM
its called a get to know the characters trailer. Also you have no clue....... oh wait... Its jacky lol!
GinjaNinja
GinjaNinja - 2/20/2014, 6:48 AM
trailer in all honesty wasn't that good. HOWEVER!!! this was a get to know the characters trailer, now a get the story accross railer.
PAF
PAF - 2/20/2014, 6:54 AM
Wow. People need to look up the word HOMAGE. On another note, SEETHE heathens. GOTG is the next best thing and you will deal.
NovaCorpsFan
NovaCorpsFan - 2/20/2014, 6:57 AM
You guys realise this is satire right? This is a Jacky article. He claims he's being honest with everything, but this is satirical.
HeisenbergSaysRelax
HeisenbergSaysRelax - 2/20/2014, 9:14 AM
What's with everyone getting all worked up? It's [frick]ing Jacky, man! This is hilarious. Take a chill pill. I honestly found this hilarious. Great work, Jacky.
LeeroyJenkins
LeeroyJenkins - 2/20/2014, 9:42 AM
Sounds like you have a real personal problem
GageHarts
GageHarts - 2/20/2014, 10:02 AM
If this is sarcasm then I think it was a great write up. If it's serious then you know nothing about the property.
You made that very clear when you got to the part about Quills Walkman.
MrReese
MrReese - 2/20/2014, 10:09 AM
Jacky does it again. XD
dripdry
dripdry - 2/20/2014, 11:37 AM
Wow must be a real lonely life being a critic, mate everything you said is so seriously pathetic.
I can tell you have not read anything or know nothing about the characters..... Pathetic article , it's a fun movie for kids and families .
The Walkman plays 80. Music because he is a child of the late 70s early 80s , he was taken into the future as a child , so that's why he has the attachment too it.

Draw looks so cool, I wonder why you are so negative and bash things in such a manner .do you work for dc, fox, sony ?
Sort it out mate because this article really sucks .
DellRusk
DellRusk - 2/20/2014, 4:01 PM
STAR-LORD was abducted as a child. That walkman is probably the only thing he has that reminds him of Earth. That's why he is so attached to it.
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