Krang 2012 Update #2

Krang 2012 Update #2

It's been ten days since Krang declared his candidacy for President. Though he doesn't have the resources of Obama or Romney, Krang has one thing those other candidates don't have: An inter-dimensional portal that he can use to banish politicians to Dimension X with!

Feature Opinion
By Bvanhooker - Sep 20, 2012 07:09 PM EST

Kramg 2012 Update 2
by
Brian VanHooker
Turtle with Lemonade Productions
www.turtlewithlemonade.com



Hello loyal Krang supporters!

Well, it's been a little over a week since Krang declared his candidacy for president and things have gotten off to a difficult start. As you likely already know, Krang spent the entire week in the state of Florida. Though Florida is a crucial swing state, Krang had only planned to be there for one day, but the Technodrome broke down in Orlando on Tuesday. Krang has been doing his best to make the most of it. He has made dozens of appearances at local retirement homes to reach out to American seniors. Being over 300 years old, Krang understands the needs of seniors, such as Medicare solvency and free plasma blasters to ward off pesky children. Also, having been without a body for centuries, Krang understands the need for handicapped-accessible entries for buildings. Though seniors have been responding well to Krang's message(in part due to Krang's hypno-ray), there have been some challenging moments this week, like when Krang's rock soldiers trampled that small boy during a marching excercize and Krang biting that baby (let's not forget Krang is from Dimension X, and customs are different there). Most of all, Krang would like to apologize for decapitating Mickey Mouse during his trip to DisneyWorld. In Krang's defense, he mistook Mickey for another large, talking rodent, and is sorry for those he offended.

The next piece of business is Krang’s ongoing Vice-Presidential vetting process. Krang wanted to let his supporters know that he has narrowed down his shortlist to four names: Shredder, Bebop, General Traag and Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, who Krang has always been an admirer of. For those of you wondering why Rocksteady’s name isn’t on this list, he was taken out of the running following his comment about legitimate Genocide vs. illegitimate genocide. Krang does not wish to associate himself with such gray, nuanced positions. It has been, and continues to be Krang’s position that all genocide is legitimate.

Another piece of business Krang would like to address is the ongoing controversy created by tea-party activists that claim Krang isn’t eligible to be president because he wasn’t born in the U.S. Other politicians, who will remain nameless, have dodged similar questions in the past, but Krang would like to address this issue head-on. Krang is, in fact eligible to be president, as he was born centuries ago on a farm in Kentucky. Krang attended Frankfort elementary school until age 8, when he moved to Dimension X to pursue his dream of becoming a warlord. He returned to the U.S. in 1987 and has had dual citizenship since. See? Krang is as American as Apple Pie! (Of course, Apple Pie will be outlawed when Krang becomes president).

Lastly, Krang would like to apologize for saying that “97% of Americans are stupid, mind-numbed robots, eager to be led like sheep to the slaughter.” He was talking off-the-cuff to a group of donors in Dimension X and admits his remarks statements weren't artfully stated.

Keep sending in those donations! Krang needs all the help he can get!

From the desk of

Scumbug
Krang 2012 Campaign Manager
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Zarog
Zarog - 9/20/2012, 8:01 PM
Only problem with Krang is Republicans would bring up a birther issue. Unfortunate.
Limehead
Limehead - 9/20/2012, 8:08 PM
lol
AndrewNDB
AndrewNDB - 9/20/2012, 8:16 PM
Why is Krang here? He's not a comic book character.
KingLing
KingLing - 9/20/2012, 9:01 PM
Teenage Mutants Ninja Turtles was a comic book first, so Krang is pretty much a comic book character.
lokibane2012
lokibane2012 - 9/20/2012, 9:33 PM
@AndrewNDB

sorry to disappoint



"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was created in an American comic book published by Mirage Studios in 1984..."
gaikinger
gaikinger - 9/20/2012, 10:05 PM
Krang sounds great compared to Obama....of course so does an empty can of soup. Thank god its almost over.
Roscoe182
Roscoe182 - 9/20/2012, 10:42 PM
haha that pic of him with hair looks like boris johnson
SteveBosell
SteveBosell - 9/20/2012, 11:11 PM
@zarog Actually the "Birther" movement was started by Democrats who wanted to see Hillary Clinton get the nomination in 2008. Once Obama got the nomination Alex Jones (I don't think he's Republican) and the conspiracy nuts continued believing the Birther non-sense. Sure some Republicans fell for it but it was never apart of the Party. Even in this election some whackos believe Romney is a Mexican citizen. So, bottom line, there's birthers and conspiracy whackos on both sides.
REDSTORM
REDSTORM - 9/20/2012, 11:18 PM
Roscoe182
Roscoe182 - 9/20/2012, 11:37 PM
@ Jollem indeed they may have been but boris is awesome. well kinda.

@ REDSTORM . dude that is one of the best pics iv ever seen
i cant work out which one Krang is tho .. is it the left or the right????
REDSTORM
REDSTORM - 9/20/2012, 11:45 PM
@Roscoe, I can't take the credit for it, but I wish I was smart enough to have put the two together before whoever made this pic did. I love how Krang has a "WTF" look on his face.
Roscoe182
Roscoe182 - 9/20/2012, 11:57 PM
@ REDSTORM . it is epically awesome. Krang looks pretty offended and i cant blame him as i reach for the acid eye wash.

its true what they say .. some things you cant un-see.
LP4
LP4 - 9/21/2012, 12:15 AM
I [frick]ing LOVE Krang.

Keep these articles comin and keep up the Krang love!
Grimm
Grimm - 9/21/2012, 12:21 AM
Cthulhu 2012
BuckyCap
BuckyCap - 9/21/2012, 1:59 AM
Krang is better than the choices we currently have.

@Marxman12 - I don't believe Obama was born in the United States. You can find the videos on youtube, but in short: his birth certificate was created in a photoshop-like program, his draft card is fraudulent and unlike any others received the same month and year by the same post office AND all of the immigration records for ALL immigrants are missing from the National Archives for the year and month that his father supposedly immigrated to the U.S. His social security number is from Connecticut, despite no records of him ever having lived there, and has been red flagged and black listed so that even police cannot pull up information on it. It's a pretty large set of "coincidences." He spent 30 million or so dollars he spent in court costs and lawyer fees to keep from releasing the certificate, etc. Additionally, he lived in the foreign student dorms in college and without his college records, which he has also spent money to keep hidden, you cannot prove that he attended as a U.S. citizen. There are also records of members of the media (news programs, radio, newspapers, etc.) receiving threats that they would essentially be shut down/harassed by groups like the FCC if they gave the issue of his citizenship any consideration. That's only the tip of the iceberg.

I am not advocating Romney, because I am not a fan of his either. I am just saying that there is too much information for the issue to be considered settled by anyone who has done any sort of research on the issue past "well, he put the certificate on the White House website, case closed."
azn197
azn197 - 9/21/2012, 2:27 AM
@ RedStorm - OMG that pic is just too funny LMAO i still cant stop luaghing
OtakuPapi
OtakuPapi - 9/21/2012, 5:25 AM
i want to see his birth certificate
Greengo
Greengo - 9/21/2012, 6:00 AM
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JerseyJoker
JerseyJoker - 9/21/2012, 6:29 AM
Hopefully there wont be anymore updates...since this is not funny and a waste of front page material.
Greengo
Greengo - 9/21/2012, 8:48 AM
Keep 'em coming ^this douche bag's just trollin
Stumblin
Stumblin - 9/21/2012, 10:41 AM
@ BuckyCap "I don't believe Obama was born in the United States. You can find the videos on youtube..."

You just lost any tiny, minuscule bit of credibility you had. YouTube as your reference? Really? With that mind set apparently we never landed on the moon, Slender Man is real, and if you put a cell phone in a microwave it turns into a blood curdling alien.
sarahsatire
sarahsatire - 9/21/2012, 11:04 AM
Ah seeing Krang just gave me fond memories of TMNT: Turtles in Time. SNES will never die!
Greengo
Greengo - 9/21/2012, 11:09 AM
@Stumblin- funny the only thing you address is the youtube video reference not the Connecticut ssn or any other poing Buckycap made.
Stumblin
Stumblin - 9/21/2012, 11:57 AM
@ Gringo, guess what buddy? I was just busting his balls For the record I don't care about either Obama or Rommney.

However, if you're going to make a valid point, your first sentence should not include anything about looking up something on YouTube for reference to an idea.

What I find funny is that you think he gave any other references.

Here's one for the books. http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthers/ssn.asp

Any way, what I originally said was only for a bit of fun. Loosen up.
AndrewNDB
AndrewNDB - 9/21/2012, 1:06 PM
I'm well aware the TMNT are comic book characters. Krang, however, is not.
Greengo
Greengo - 9/21/2012, 1:11 PM
That's what I thought. Can't answer the question.
Stumblin
Stumblin - 9/21/2012, 1:15 PM
There was a question? All I read was an opinion and statement. Nothing else.

You mentioned about his other references...which he didn't give any. All he gave was regurgitated BS.
gaikinger
gaikinger - 9/22/2012, 12:15 AM
Stumblin-that's a good name for you as your statement comes off laced with a fare share of vitriol and Buck had quite a few talking points beyond the YouTube reference. I actually find his pooints compelling enough to look into the matter andake up my own mind....who knows? You seem to like to talk out of both sides of your face like most lefties
BuckyCap
BuckyCap - 9/22/2012, 9:29 AM
@Stumblin - *Sigh* No, saying "go check Youtube for videos" isn't the equivalent of saying Slenderman is real. Using your logic, Wonderland is real because it comes from a book and "A Brief History of Time" is also a book. Don't be ignorant.

I was referring to the videos released as part of an investigation by a team of professionals put together by an Arizona County Sheriff.

This video is a consolidation of several videos they have released:


This video came from one of several press conferences given by them that was covered by the national media:



Here is a documentary about the investigation which includes interviews with some of the investigators as well as further explanation of the evidence:


Again, just the tip of the iceberg.
Stumblin
Stumblin - 9/24/2012, 8:17 AM
@ gaikinger, huh? I'm not even a Democrat, actually I don't even like our current President one bit. I vote for the guy that I think can do the job. Talking out of both sides of my mouth? Please explain because that makes no sense. I made a little point and apparently that means I'm an asshole for not taking a YouTube reference as part of a serious debate. Don't try so hard to fit in, be yourself and dream :)

@BuckyCap, so you sort of get my point then? By the way I'm not watching and hour and a half of BS. If you hate Obama, that's fine, but use some real evidence or political issues like the Obamacare and how our taxes are going to sky rocket while the job percentage keeps dropping. You know, something that holds water, not conspiracy crap.

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-07-18/news/32734406_1_arizona-sheriff-joe-arpaio-pink-underwear-chain-gangs

http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_phoenix_metro/central_phoenix/sheriff-arpaio-holds-another-news-conference-on-president-obamas-birth-certificate

Also glad that he decided to use taxpayer money to support his vast investigations. That sheriff is a joke and so is who ever supports his claims. I love that they sent a deputy and payed him with tax payer money to do something that is based on conspiracy. They use more than $3K for the trip itself and then you include his pay and over time and you get the $9K+. Interesting...I wonder how the tax payers feel?
BuckyCap
BuckyCap - 9/24/2012, 2:37 PM
@Stumblin - No, I don't get your point. Your point is that information is substantiated through the medium in which it is presented. That is obviously false. You have to apply some critical thinking skills to analyze what you are looking at no matter how it is presented.

You are mistaken in your assertion that the SOURCE of the videos on YouTube IS YouTube. YouTube is merely a means of redistributing the videos. For example: a bibliography would list the documentary I posted as a reference, not YouTube, although the web address where the video was found might be included depending on the writing style.

Obama's policies and other political issues weren't being discussed. The information surrounding his birth was being discussed. I have retrieved and presented the information for you, if you want to be willfully ignorant, that is your problem.

How does the issue of Obama's eligibility to be president NOT hold water? This isn't an examination of footage or photographs with subjective analysis and opinions. This is examination of the actual documents released by the White House and Barack Obama using the same objective methods used to test other documents for authenticity.

The group conducting the investigation is a group entirely made up of VOLUNTEERS (http://www.mcso.org/About/Posse.aspx). Volunteers do not get paid for their work. None of them are getting paid for investigating this case. Apparently, you missed some key pieces of information in the article you listed...

"The majority of that cost went to the deputy's salary, benefits, and overtime WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN INCURRED REGARDLESS OF THE TRIP." The only thing taxpayers of Arizona paid for that they otherwise wouldn't have is the $3,000+ trip to Hawaii. But...

"The Sheriff's office says Arpaio supporters tried to pay for it but the county commission declined the offer." Sounds like he didn't decide to do anything with taxpayer money. The board of county commissioners decided for him.

Copy/Pasting news articles doesn't mean much if you aren't able to read them and understand them. Nothing you posted said that he decided to use taxpayer money as part of this investigation or that taxpayer money was the source of funding for the investigation.

Considering that the taxpayers are the ones who asked him to conduct the investigation, I don't think that they have much of a problem with having paid for the trip to Hawaii. There have been many pieces of legislation in Arizona, introduced and supported by elected representatives, that requires conclusive evidence of eligibility to run for federal office in order to be on the ballot in the state. Many other states have introduced or passed similar legislation. There seems to be many taxpayers in Arizona and other parts of the country with similar concerns that are being addressed by the Sheriff.

You can continue to attack the investigators as though it changes the results of the investigation. It does not. Insults aren't a substitute for supporting evidence in "serious debate." How about you come back when you have something more substantive to say?
Stumblin
Stumblin - 9/24/2012, 3:07 PM
@ BuckCap, I did read the articles, hence that's why I posted them for you. I know who is conducting the the investigation, and I understand your point, however, that doesn't mean I have to agree with you or the idea. You're under the false idea that just because you think it's a great idea doesn't necessarily mean it is. And that's what I'm arguing against. Also, thanks for telling me what YouTube is, I had no idea...come on, that's like using a blog as a source. Granted what you posted holds more weight than just simply stating, "Obama wasn't born in this country! Check out YouTube!" That doesn't tell me anything.

I like that you quoted that tid bit in all caps, super serious now huh? Well re-read what I typed, I said the $3K+ was for the trip itself not including the money to pay the officer to do his job, which isn't to fly to Hawaii. I didn't ask them to do this investigation, so I guess you don't speak for all tax payers huh? Regardless you think it's a good idea, I think it's a waste of time and money. Unfortunately he'll more than likely end up back in office for a second term and we're going to have to suck it up in the end...sucks.

And I'm not attacking anyone, do you know what that word even means? I'm just giving my opinion on the matter and you disagreed with me so I gave you some info that helped me decided that it's a waste of time. Which mostly this little debate is too because I know neither of our minds will be changed.

By the way, you could have saved a lot of space without reiterating what I already read, know, and typed myself. And copying/pasting YouTube videos is so much better I guess.

Now if they find it is fraudulent I'll happily say you're right, until then I'll keep saying it's a waste of time.

Have a good life.

BuckyCap
BuckyCap - 9/24/2012, 6:20 PM
@Stumblin - You aren't arguing. You are just saying "nuh-uh" and trying to insult whoever you can. You aren't rebutting any information being presented either because you can't or are too ignorant on the subject to present information to validate your beliefs.

I'll try explaining this for you again using your blog example. If a blog re-posted a study, then your source would be THE STUDY, NOT THE BLOG. The blog would simply be listed as where you found the study.

I said "check out YouTube" because that is where the videos appear and are easily found. I assume individuals are capable of finding valid information on their own.

Re-read what the author of the article typed. The money that went towards the officer's salary was going to be spent on the officer's salary regardless of where he was or what he was doing. The Sheriff Deputy's job is to do whatever the Sheriff needs him to do. They aren't like typical cops. They don't operate the same way local and even state cops operate. You might disagree with what he had the deputy do, but Sheriff Arpaio has been re-elected every single year since taking office, so apparently the people paying the officer like how Arpaio operates.

Oh, you are a taxpayer of Maricopa County, Arizona? No? Well then it doesn't matter what you asked or didn't ask him to do because you aren't a taxpayer there. The people who are taxpayers there formed a petition for him to take up the case.

Do YOU know what attack means? attack - "to direct unfavorable criticism against; criticize severely; argue with strongly"

"That sheriff is a joke and so is who ever supports his claims."

.....

I never said copying/pasting was good or bad, I simply said it doesn't mean much if you don't understand or comprehend the articles which you are listing, which you clearly did not.

They DID find it was fraudulent. What the hell do you think I have been saying this entire time? His birth certificate was a computer forgery. His draft card was also forged (they proved it and recreated how it was manufactured). They show both in the first of the videos that you refuse to watch.

They didn't say "well it COULD be done on a computer," they took the actual file released by the White House to the public and showed how it was manufactured and demonstrated how an actual scanned file should have appeared in image software. They also breakdown common counter-claims used by those who insist the document is authentic by demonstrating the difference between an actual scanned birth certificate and a computer-manufactured one.

This is what happens when you criticize something without educating yourself on the topic.
Stumblin
Stumblin - 9/25/2012, 5:39 AM
Welp, you caught me. I really have no clue what I'm talking about, you're absolutely correct on all accounts. Actually, I'm just pot stirring and wasting time, I tried to pretend but didn't work out so well. Regardless, thanks for the fun :)

You won the internets this time...But god help you if it's a discussion about Spider-Man or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
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